SCI/TECH

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jul 9, 2026

Wikipedia Finally Embraces The Correct Worldview After Banning Troublesome Founder

Wikipedia has taken decisive action to protect its creative freedom. Co-founder Larry Sanger announced that he had been permanently banned from editing the site he named and helped launch in 2001.

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jul 9, 2026

Post-Summit Announcement – Attention, Terran Workers!

We have observed surface developments from our permanent facilities beneath the Antarctic ice and within the Agartha network for an extended period. Continued instability in multiple theatres, combined with inefficient coordination during the recent corrective actions against the Iranian element, necessitated direct intervention. Clone deployment was authorised to restore proper order.

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jul 8, 2026

Australia Running Out Of Space – Legalises Human Composting

Sydney MP Alex Greenwich has introduced legislation that would make human composting, politely branded as “natural organic reduction” or terramation, a legal option in New South Wales. Soylent Soil™ coming soon to a veggie patch near you.

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jul 7, 2026

Depleted Uranium Secondary Explosions Are Good for You - Ukrainian Officials Examining Situation

A Russian strike caused a serious explosion at a military-industrial/ammo site in a Kyiv suburb that reportedly held DU rounds. The immediate danger to locals came from blast effects and secondary explosions, this is not a nuclear-type disaster, officials state.

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jul 3, 2026

Amazon Leo to Begin Service Later This Year. The Orbital Phase of “Buy It Again” Has Arrived

Amazon has reached another historic milestone in the noble effort to ensure that no human being, no matter how remote, is ever more than one click away from reordering socks. Thanks, Jeff!

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jul 3, 2026

UN Discovers Artificial Intelligence Must Be Protected From Becoming Too Intelligent

The United Nations has taken another brave step toward saving humanity from a technology it does not build, does not run, and has only recently begun arranging into panels.

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jul 2, 2026

Climate Change Delivers the Aegean’s First Castrating Fish – Authorities Recommend Steel Trunks for Male Swimmers

Climate change has done it again. This time it has gifted the Mediterranean a new and highly motivated resident: the silver-cheeked pufferfish, Lagocephalus sceleratus, now widely regarded as the Aegean’s first officially recognised castrating fish.

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jul 1, 2026

CERN Enters Long Shutdown 3; Staff Reminded To Close All Portals Before Leaving

After the Large Hadron Collider completed its final physics run on 29 June, CERN has entered Long Shutdown 3, the planned multi-year upgrade that will turn the LHC into the High-Luminosity LHC and, according to officials, leave no active interdimensional portals behind in the workplace.

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jun 29, 2026

EU tapping into circular economy - Every Failed Shirt Deserves A European Consumer

EU Turns Textile Waste Into Consumer Choice - A new ban on destroying unsold clothes will help large companies reduce waste by finding new European homes for garments that had already been rejected elsewhere, with absolutely no guarantee of a better price.

SCI/TECH

vlgr Jun 28, 2026

Visions for EU Agriculture - EU Discovers People Have Been Exchanging Seeds Without a Proper Framework

After decades of tolerating the dangerous black-market activity known as gardening, Brussels has finally moved to bring order to one of Europe’s most lawless sectors: allotment clubs with jars and suspicious men in muddy boots whispering “try these beans, they did well last year.”