#OPSEC — vlgr

Ursula von der Leyen’s European Humor: “The Age Verification App Is Technically Ready” Was Just a Joke, Folks

BRUSSELS - In what insiders are calling the driest joke ever delivered in EU history, Ursula von der Leyen announced: “Our European Age Verification App is technically ready. It respects the highest privacy standards. It’s open-source.”

Dark Clouds Are Gathering Over Europe - the Commission Celebrates

Can yesterday's "one man down" influence the whole continent?

Austria’s Digital ID: A Nice Tool... for Scammers

Vienna, April 2026 – The Austrian government has successfully created a single login that grants access to virtually every corner of public life: taxes, social benefits, company registrations, residence changes, and soon even access to Social Media.

Your Biometric Convenience: European GDPR Now Extended to US Databases!

Brussels proudly announces: Your fingerprints will enjoy full EU-style protections... once they’re safely stored in American servers.

Local Man’s ‘Global Jewish Conspiracy’ Falls Apart After Forgetting Password To His Own Email

SPRINGFIELD, OH - A local man’s deeply researched theory about a vast and coordinated global conspiracy collapsed Tuesday morning after he was unable to log into his own email account for the third time this week.

Canada-EU Merger To Be Called “EU-CAN” As Nation Replaces Beaver With More Compliant Donkey

BRUSSELS / OTTAWA - Canadian and European Union negotiators have finalized the name for the forthcoming merger: EU-CAN.

EURO OFFICE | EU Digital Sovereignty Masterstroke

Nextcloud, IONOS, Proton and friends have launched Euro-Office – a glorious hard fork of OnlyOffice, rebranded as Europe’s sovereign Microsoft killer.

LinkedIn Deeply Misunderstood After Silently Scanning Users: “We Just Want to Know You on a Deeper Level”

Sunnyvale, CA - Executives at LinkedIn expressed shock and confusion this week after critics accused the professional networking giant of running a massive, covert browser extension fingerprinting operation on millions of users.

TECHNOLOGY | After Successful Cattle Trials, WHO Unveils Human Chipping

Citing “remarkably stable” results from livestock tracking tests, building on the important compliance testing phase provided by COVID passports, the World Health Organization today announced the next phase: bio-integrated wellness tags for humans.

Breaking | Governments Scrap all Digital ID Plans Effective Immediately.

Digital ID? So 2025. Experts are overjoyed: "We spent years building hardened anonymity... and Chad just crossposted his gym selfie with his LinkedIn."