# DEMONS

# DEMONS

vlgr Jul 7, 2026

Paranoid Pensioner Klaus Schwab - My TV Is Listening… Give Me My Davos Job Back

Klaus Schwab has apparently had it with modern technology. According to reports, the 88-year-old founder of the World Economic Forum recently discovered a listening device in his home office in Geneva and promptly filed a criminal complaint with the authorities. Days later, he sent letters to the WEF board demanding an advisory role that would let him influence the selection of future leadership - complete with a list of conditions and legal threats.

# DEMONS

vlgr Jul 1, 2026

CERN Enters Long Shutdown 3; Staff Reminded To Close All Portals Before Leaving

After the Large Hadron Collider completed its final physics run on 29 June, CERN has entered Long Shutdown 3, the planned multi-year upgrade that will turn the LHC into the High-Luminosity LHC and, according to officials, leave no active interdimensional portals behind in the workplace.

# DEMONS

vlgr Apr 7, 2026

Local Man’s ‘Global Jewish Conspiracy’ Falls Apart After Forgetting Password To His Own Email

SPRINGFIELD, OH - A local man’s deeply researched theory about a vast and coordinated global conspiracy collapsed Tuesday morning after he was unable to log into his own email account for the third time this week.

# DEMONS

vlgr Apr 7, 2026

Europe Celebrates End Of US Hegemony By Joyfully Returning To Druidic Times

BRUSSELS - European leaders declared the long-awaited end of American hegemony on Tuesday, hailing it as the dawn of a glorious new era of independence, self-reliance, and definitely not freezing to death in the dark.

# DEMONS

vlgr Apr 4, 2026

Exclusive: Asmodeus Breaks His Silence - "Tucker Carlson? Never Met the Guy."

Asmodeus, expressed visible annoyance at being linked to Carlson's long-form interview with Father Chad Ripperger.