# ALIENS

# ALIENS

vlgr Aug 3, 2026

VLGR Predicts This Week’s Ickonic Episode - SpaceX to Patch the Moon on Wednesday

At approximately 06:35 UTC on August 5, a spent Falcon 9 upper stage is expected to strike the lunar surface near Einstein Crater at roughly 5,400 miles per hour. The impact will release energy equivalent to around three tons of TNT. David Icke Expected to Discover Who Really Benefits.

# ALIENS

vlgr Jul 9, 2026

Post-Summit Announcement – Attention, Terran Workers!

We have observed surface developments from our permanent facilities beneath the Antarctic ice and within the Agartha network for an extended period. Continued instability in multiple theatres, combined with inefficient coordination during the recent corrective actions against the Iranian element, necessitated direct intervention. Clone deployment was authorised to restore proper order.

# ALIENS

vlgr May 29, 2026

Extraterrestrials Livid After White House “Alien” Page Reveals It Was Never About Them

Zeta Reticuli / Washington, D.C. – 29 May 2026 The Galactic Federation has issued a formal diplomatic protest to the Trump administration after the White House’s much-hyped “alien disclosure” page turned out to be nothing more than a border security meme.

# ALIENS

vlgr May 21, 2026

NASA Announces Moon Base, Clarifies Ancient Alien Infrastructure Will Be Used “For The Benefit Of Humanity”

NASA has announced plans for its Artemis Moon base strategy, assuring the public that the future lunar outpost will support science, exploration, and the responsible use of any ancient alien infrastructure that definitely, legally, probably does not exist.

# ALIENS

vlgr Apr 9, 2026

Iran Ceasefire Declared a Full Success Amid Mysterious “Alien” Strikes, Spokesman Identity Also Unclear

TEHRAN - Iranian officials confirmed Thursday that the ceasefire remains “fully intact and historically successful,” despite a new wave of unexplained nighttime strikes carried out by what authorities describe as an “unidentified non-human presence.”

# ALIENS

vlgr Apr 1, 2026

SPACE | Aliens Abruptly U-Turn Toward Earth After Realizing Strait of Hormuz Blockade Is Peak Entertainment

In a stunning course correction that has astronomers muttering "wait, what?", the interstellar object 3I/ATLAS has reportedly abandoned its outbound trajectory and is now slingshotting back toward Earth at a suspiciously chill 4.20 km/s.

# ALIENS

vlgr Mar 24, 2026

MEDIA | Rare Outbreak of Bigotry: Q of the Continuum Cancels Starfleet Academy

Q of the Continuum: “Even I’m embarrassed for you mortals. Infinite diversity in infinite combinations does not substitute a plot.”

# ALIENS

vlgr Mar 22, 2026

SPACE | Aliens Launch Formal UN Complaint Against Elon Musk for “Galactic Gentrification”

alien residents of the Moon have filed an urgent human rights complaint

# ALIENS

vlgr Mar 11, 2026

SPACE| Aliens Finally Send Us a Care Package - It’s Just a Giant Space Keg Called 3I/ATLAS

In a discovery that has astronomers both fascinated and mildly concerned about the universe’s sense of humor, the Atacama Large Millimeter/submillimeter Array (ALMA) has confirmed that the interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS is loaded with methanol.