#ALIENS — vlgr

Iran Ceasefire Declared a Full Success Amid Mysterious “Alien” Strikes, Spokesman Identity Also Unclear

TEHRAN - Iranian officials confirmed Thursday that the ceasefire remains “fully intact and historically successful,” despite a new wave of unexplained nighttime strikes carried out by what authorities describe as an “unidentified non-human presence.”

SPACE | Aliens Abruptly U-Turn Toward Earth After Realizing Strait of Hormuz Blockade Is Peak Entertainment

In a stunning course correction that has astronomers muttering "wait, what?", the interstellar object 3I/ATLAS has reportedly abandoned its outbound trajectory and is now slingshotting back toward Earth at a suspiciously chill 4.20 km/s.

MEDIA | Rare Outbreak of Bigotry: Q of the Continuum Cancels Starfleet Academy

Q of the Continuum: “Even I’m embarrassed for you mortals. Infinite diversity in infinite combinations does not substitute a plot.”

SPACE | Aliens Launch Formal UN Complaint Against Elon Musk for “Galactic Gentrification”

alien residents of the Moon have filed an urgent human rights complaint

SPACE| Aliens Finally Send Us a Care Package - It’s Just a Giant Space Keg Called 3I/ATLAS

In a discovery that has astronomers both fascinated and mildly concerned about the universe’s sense of humor, the Atacama Large Millimeter/submillimeter Array (ALMA) has confirmed that the interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS is loaded with methanol.