# BIOTECHNOLOGY

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Sep 17, 2026

Governments Deny Alien Doom Ultimatum Influenced Vaccine Recommendations

Officials insist the rollout followed the science, although the science was conducted within range of a planetary destruction device. Reported side effects were carefully weighed against the disappearance of the civilisation.

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Aug 20, 2026

Congratulations to Moderna on Its $44 Billion Cancer Vaccine Press Release

Moderna and Merck say their personalized mRNA cancer vaccine succeeded in Phase 3. Investors responded by adding roughly $44 billion to Moderna’s valuation before receiving the hazard ratios, event rates, survival curves or almost any other numerical evidence traditionally associated with the word “trial.”

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Aug 11, 2026

MAHA Wins One: Common Sense Returns to Childhood Vaccines

President Donald Trump has signed an executive order restructuring federal childhood vaccine recommendations around three fairly revolutionary concepts: actual risk, individual circumstances and parental choice. In other words, America is moving away from “CDC says every child gets this” toward “here are the core vaccines, here are vaccines appropriate for particular risks, here are decisions for parents and physicians, and now go produce better evidence.”

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Aug 10, 2026

Moderna’s mRNA Flu Vaccine Enters Through the Retirement Home

Moderna has finally done for seasonal influenza what it previously did for COVID-19: placed a strand of laboratory-produced messenger RNA inside lipid nanoparticles and persuaded the FDA that this was a perfectly reasonable thing to make an annual appointment.

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Aug 10, 2026

Pfizer’s New Invention: The Schrödinger’s Control Group and Other Tales

The Pfizer-BioNTech COVID vaccine was a triumph of modern science. A genuinely extraordinary piece of biotechnology. Within months of SARS-CoV-2 appearing, researchers had designed a nucleoside-modified mRNA vaccine capable of instructing human cells to produce the viral spike protein, wrapped that message inside lipid nanoparticles, tested it in tens of thousands of people and prepared the technology for production on a scale previously reserved for Coca-Cola.

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Jul 28, 2026

The Princess and the Diary: Fauci Faces the Music He Wrote Himself

Tomorrow, Anthony Fauci sits in front of Rand Paul’s committee under subpoena. The man who spent years as the calm, authoritative voice of “the science” now has to explain the notebook he kept while the science was still arguing with itself in private. The diary is not subtle.

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Jul 24, 2026

Bryan Johnson: Immortality as the Ultimate Form of Missing the Point

Anti-aging obsessive Bryan Johnson says he has created a newborn “clone” of himself called Baby Bryan. It is neither newborn nor a clone, but it may still tell us something important about the future of medicine, assuming Johnson can remain alive long enough to attend the product launch. Adult Bryan, meanwhile, remains occupied with the more difficult task of surviving a life from which most of the living has already been removed.

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Jul 9, 2026

Post-Summit Announcement – Attention, Terran Workers!

We have observed surface developments from our permanent facilities beneath the Antarctic ice and within the Agartha network for an extended period. Continued instability in multiple theatres, combined with inefficient coordination during the recent corrective actions against the Iranian element, necessitated direct intervention. Clone deployment was authorised to restore proper order.

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Jul 8, 2026

Australia Running Out Of Space – Legalises Human Composting

Sydney MP Alex Greenwich has introduced legislation that would make human composting, politely branded as “natural organic reduction” or terramation, a legal option in New South Wales. Soylent Soil™ coming soon to a veggie patch near you.

# BIOTECHNOLOGY

vlgr Jul 7, 2026

Paranoid Pensioner Klaus Schwab - My TV Is Listening… Give Me My Davos Job Back

Klaus Schwab has apparently had it with modern technology. According to reports, the 88-year-old founder of the World Economic Forum recently discovered a listening device in his home office in Geneva and promptly filed a criminal complaint with the authorities. Days later, he sent letters to the WEF board demanding an advisory role that would let him influence the selection of future leadership - complete with a list of conditions and legal threats.