# USA

# USA

vlgr Jun 13, 2026

Iran Collapses Nuclear Tunnels to Lure Elon Musk’s Boring Company – ‘We Did the Hard Part Already’

Iran has collapsed and booby-trapped its own underground nuclear tunnels at Isfahan. Senior officials say the destruction was necessary to create optimal conditions for a future partnership with Elon Musk’s The Boring Company.

# USA

vlgr Jun 12, 2026

Musk Becomes World's First Trillionaire - Warren Immediately Calculates How Many Lifetimes She Needs to Confiscate It

Elon Musk has officially become the world’s first trillionaire following the SpaceX IPO. Naturally, Senator Elizabeth Warren responded faster than a socialist spotting an unguarded wallet.

# USA

vlgr Jun 7, 2026

EU Accidentally Builds Digital Social Credit System That Cannot Be Used For Surveillance

Brussels officials reassured citizens that the new architecture is completely safe, because no single institution will monitor everything at once unless future legislation, emergency powers, banking rules, private contractors or law enforcement require it.

# USA

vlgr Jun 7, 2026

Tesla Denies Warranty Claim After Roadster Found To Be 140 Million Miles From Nearest Service Center

AUSTIN, TX - Tesla has officially denied a warranty claim on Elon Musk’s 2008 Roadster after technicians determined the vehicle was “slightly outside the approved service area,” by which they meant it is currently orbiting the sun.

# USA

vlgr Jun 5, 2026

Goodbye American Burger Culture: Bill Gates Announces Upside Foods’ New Cultured Tank-Beef Cells Will Save the Day After Screwworm Maggots Finish Off Real Cows

Texas ranchers woke up this week to the horrifying news that the New World Screwworm - flesh-eating maggots that burrow into living cow tissue - has officially returned after a 60-year vacation. The first confirmed case hit a baby calf in Zavala County, right in the belly button. Ranchers are panicking. Is the American burger officially dead?

# USA

vlgr Jun 4, 2026

US-Iranian Millionaire Exporting US Tech to Iran Finally Nailed for Creative Tax Filing

Newport Coast, California - Federal agents swooped in yesterday and arrested Jamshid Ghomi, a 63-year-old dual U.S.-Iranian citizen, right outside his palatial $35 million mansion in one of Orange County’s most exclusive zip codes. Not the decade-long scheme to funnel sophisticated American networking, security, and encryption gear straight to Iran’s military and nuclear weapons program. No - the feds finally got him for subverting taxes.

# USA

vlgr Jun 4, 2026

EU Scientists Bring Mpox to America - Exactly as Predicted in Their Own Lancet Paper

Two foreign-national researchers at America’s premier high-containment virology lab have been federally charged with personally importing the very mpox clade they had just warned the world was coming.

# USA

vlgr Jun 2, 2026

Erdogan Calls Trump to Congratulate Him on “Historic” Deal With the Terrorists Who Tried to Murder His Daughter

In a touching display of Middle Eastern statesmanship, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan reportedly called Donald Trump to congratulate him on the “very productive” nuclear negotiations with the Iranian regime - the same regime whose proxies just got caught plotting to assassinate Trump’s daughter Ivanka.

# USA

vlgr May 29, 2026

“Rockets Are Hard”: Blue Origin Pivots to Sub-Orbital Confetti Delivery as Prime Subscription Prices Skyrocket

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL - In what Blue Origin is calling “a rapid unscheduled atmospheric enhancement,” the company’s long-awaited New Glenn rocket treated spectators to a fireworks display Wednesday night - while still firmly bolted to the launch pad.

# USA

vlgr May 29, 2026

Extraterrestrials Livid After White House “Alien” Page Reveals It Was Never About Them

Zeta Reticuli / Washington, D.C. – 29 May 2026 The Galactic Federation has issued a formal diplomatic protest to the Trump administration after the White House’s much-hyped “alien disclosure” page turned out to be nothing more than a border security meme.