Europe Celebrates Historic Achievement Of Alienating Literally Every Ally At Once
After Spain, Italy and others denied American bases and airspace for the Iran operation and reopening the Strait of Hormuz, Secretary of State Marco Rubio called NATO a “one-way street” on Hannity and said the alliance would have to be reexamined.
According to officials, Europe is thrilled to retain the moral high ground even as the continent watches reports that Washington is reviewing troop deployments and openly questioning the value of keeping roughly 100,000 troops in Europe at a cost of about $60 billion a year.
“True autonomy means outsourcing the army to Ukraine, no energy, no industrial competitiveness, and no allies - but being extremely judgmental about all of it,” the official added.
European citizens welcomed the news, saying they look forward to defending the continent themselves sometime around 2039, just as soon as the necessary committees, consultations, and mosque openings are completed.

SOURCE: https://x.com/EshaAA33/status/2041937448587162033?s=20
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