Iran | World's Unsung Cybersecurity Heroes

By disconnection the undersea cables snaking through the Strait of Hormuz (the ones carrying 17% of Asia-Gulf internet traffic and fully one-third of India’s westward data flows), Iran delivers total offline peace.

“No phishing. No ransomware. No late-night calls from Mumbai claiming your computer has a virus,” beamed a spokesman. “We mostly disconnect India first - oops, friendly fire on the hackers! - so the rest of the world can finally breathe. Rerouting? Good luck with that.”

Cybercrime plummeted overnight.

Thank you, Iran. You’re the hero we didn’t know we needed.

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece. vlgr is not a real news outlet—it's parody and exaggeration for entertainment purposes only. Read the linked source for actual facts.