Thank Goodness Ursula von der Leyen Has Noticed The Private Savings of EU Citizens
Europe, she told us, does not lack capital. It merely lacks the proper machinery to turn our savings into approved investments.
And who among us has not looked at the balance in our own bank account and thought: “This is nice, but has it done enough for clean tech, defence procurement, refugee integration, gender equity deliverables, circular infrastructure, and a resilient rules-based order?”
Finally, leadership.
The small-minded citizen might object that private savings are private.
This is a charmingly old-fashioned view, like handwritten letters, affordable heating, or the belief that a border should be controlled.
In modern Europe, private savings have been reintroduced as “underutilised capital.”
A “strategic opportunity.”
They are yours, of course. Brussels would never dream of taking them. It only wants to mobilise them.
You thought you were saving for retirement, a house repair, your child’s education, or the terrifying possibility that your boiler may one day explode in February.
Europe is a place of ideas.
Especially ideas about other people’s assets.
Exit taxes are particularly beautiful in this moral universe.
You are completely free to leave, naturally, but your unrealised gains may need to remain behind as a small farewell gift to the jurisdiction you are abandoning.
A continent where your savings are safe, but you really should rethink and invest them into the Greater European Vision.
Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece. vlgr is not a real news outlet - it's parody and exaggeration for entertainment purposes only
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