US Delegation Baffled by Shia Princess Diplomatic Protocol - Iranian Delegation Refusing to Shake Hands with JD Vance

BÜRGENSTOCK, Switzerland - The Iranian delegation politely declined to shake hands with U.S. Vice President JD Vance and the American team during Sunday’s summit.

“As Shia Muslim, we do not shake hands with unrelated men,” explained one princess (formerly known as a senior Iranian negotiator), adjusting her sparkling necklace. “It’s simply not done. Very sensible.”

The delegation, limited their interactions to graceful curtsies and strategic avoidance of physical contact. JD Vance was reportedly left mid-handshake, gesturing at empty air.

Swiss hosts described the scene as “deeply respectful of tradition.”

When pressed, a senior pink-gowned princess added, “We are here to negotiate, not to violate our principles. Or get our gloves dirty.”

President Trump gave an interview in which he issued a very blunt threat to Iran over the Strait of Hormuz. He said something very close to: “You close it, and you won’t have a country. You won’t even make it back to your fucking country.”

The U.S. delegation has not commented, though sources say they are now considering whether to arrive at future talks in tiaras of their own.