CUBA | Cuba Achieves Net Zero – EU Leaders Announce 'Havana Model' Adoption

The breakthrough, first reported in outlets like the Manhattan Contrarian and echoed on the New York Times front page (with visible discomfort), has sparked global envy.

Ursula von der Leyen declared: "Cuba has shown extraordinary strategic clarity. We seek to adopt the Havana Model as well."

The EU has tabled emergency resolutions: rebrand power cuts as "energy fasting".

The Model has already been successfully field-tested during this winter's multi-day blackout in Berlin, proving its resilience in sub-zero conditions.

In related forward-thinking policy, EU officials emphasized that the bloc no longer needs gas from Russia thanks to its decisive phase-out and diversification efforts, while quietly abandoning any reliance on US naval muscle for reopening the Strait of Hormuz - the oil transiting there simply isn't needed anymore in this brave new era of enlightened scarcity.

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