POLITICS

EUROPE | EU Commission Introduces “Naughty List” for Member States

In a bold move to improve “European family dynamics,” the EU Commission has reportedly upgraded Slovakia from its previous status of “We Need to Talk” to the more serious category of “We Are Slightly Mad”

vlgr March 26, 2026 34 reads 1 min read

#DEMOCRACY #ENERGY #EUROPE

Following Hungary’s successful placement on the long-running “No Allowance Until You Behave” program, officials confirmed that Slovakia may soon receive the same treatment.

This involves complete with financial time-outs and strongly worded letters.

“We don’t want to freeze funds,” an EU spokesperson explained while carefully labeling folders in Arial 11. “But if countries insist on having opinions, we have procedures for that.”

Meanwhile, Hungary - already a veteran of the system - has reportedly begun offering Slovakia helpful advice:

“Don’t worry,” said a Hungarian official. “At first, you miss the money. Then you realize you also miss being invited to group chats.”

In response, Slovak leadership appeared largely untroubled by the developments.

Officials noted that homes remain heated and electricity continues to flow - thanks, in part, to nuclear energy - while Škodas are still being fitted with electric motors.

Such arrangements, they added, remain a practical advantage not currently shared by countries like Germany or Austria, both of which have taken a different approach to nuclear power.

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece. vlgr is not a real news outlet—it's parody and exaggeration for entertainment purposes only. Read the linked source for actual facts.