POLITICS

Extraterrestrials Livid After White House “Alien” Page Reveals It Was Never About Them

Zeta Reticuli / Washington, D.C. – 29 May 2026 The Galactic Federation has issued a formal diplomatic protest to the Trump administration after the White House’s much-hyped “alien disclosure” page turned out to be nothing more than a border security meme.

vlgr May 29, 2026 52 reads 1 min read

#ALIENS #CONSPIRACY #MEDIA #REFUGEES #USA

Sources close to the Federation, speaking on condition of anonymity because they still have outstanding parking tickets on the dark side of the Moon, described the moment they scrolled past the “THEY WEREN’T LITTLE GREEN MEN” reveal as “the single most insulting thing to happen to our species since that idiot in 1947 crashed in Roswell and blamed us.”

One grey alien representative, who has been quietly living in a Paris suburb since 2009 and pays his taxes on time, told our reporter:

“We came in peace, observed your stupid wars, gave you Velcro and the microwave, and this is how you repay us? By hijacking the word ‘alien’ for a bunch of criminal humans? We don’t belong here? Mate, we were here before you invented the wheel.”

Brussels sources confirmed that EU bureaucrats were briefly excited, believing the page referred to actual extraterrestrials, before realising it was about the people they’ve been importing since 2015.

An emergency meeting has been called to draft a 14-page strongly-worded letter demanding the United States “cease cultural appropriation of interstellar terminology.”

So far, zero little green men have been detained.

The only comment from the White House so far: a single thumbs-up emoji.