TECH | Digital ID in Every OS: The Maturity We’ve All Been Waiting For

SACRAMENTO / BRASÍLIA, March 20, 2026 - California, Brazil and the EU have seen the light and we should all be grateful.

Typing a birth date into JSON was a childish game.

The real blessing is arriving: mandatory government-verified digital id baked directly into the operating system.

What a relief. Before sudo, before apt, before any meaningful command, it will graciously require that quick, secure digital id handshake - for your own good, naturally.

It makes perfect sense. Running powerful software without supervision? Far too reckless.

The authorities are finally here to protect us from our own worst impulses.

Fortunately most users are embracing this beautiful new maturity. A tiny fringe of selfish linux holdouts - the usual ungrateful malcontents - still whine about “ownership.” They’ll come around.

We used to think we owned our computers.

How adorable.

That naive phase is over now, and thank goodness for it.

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece. vlgr is not a real news outlet—it's parody and exaggeration for entertainment purposes only. Read the linked source for actual facts.