#ÖSTERREICH

Europeans Breathe Collective Sigh of Relief: Thank God, We Can Finally Skip the Mandatory Mediterranean Flex

Brussels, April 17, 2026 – For decades, the unspoken rule of European summer has been crystal clear: if you don’t post a sunset photo from a Greek island, a Spanish costa, or an Italian cliffside with a €14 Aperol Spritz in hand, did you even have a summer? With jet fuel shortages grounding flights in around 6 weeks, millions have found themselves freed from the annual obligation.

Muslims in the EU – or How to Lie with Statistics

100% fact-based satirical guide to demographic sleight-of-hand, or why Europe’s “enrichment” plan has a receipt signed by Merkel & von der Leyen

UN's Bold New Hire: Mullahs to "Coordinate" Women's Rights and Counter-Terrorism

The United Nations, whose stated mission includes promoting human rights, gender equality, and global security, has taken another confident step forward by unanimously nominating the Islamic Republic of Iran to a three-year term on the Committee for Programme and Coordination.

Austria’s Cozy New Solution to Freezing Next Winter: Criticize the EU, Sign with Digital ID, Get a Warm Prison Cell – Courtesy of Spionagegesetz 2026

Can’t afford to heat your home? No problem. Just post online – sign it with your mandatory secure Digital ID, and enjoy a taxpayer-funded, state-heated jail cell for up to five years. Austria’s draft espionage law turns protecting Brussels’ reputation into the ultimate energy poverty fix. Only in Austria… for now.

Austria’s Digital ID: A Nice Tool... for Scammers

Vienna, April 2026 – The Austrian government has successfully created a single login that grants access to virtually every corner of public life: taxes, social benefits, company registrations, residence changes, and soon even access to Social Media.