Exclusive: Asmodeus Breaks His Silence - "Tucker Carlson? Never Met the Guy."
THE SECOND CIRCLE OF HELL - In a rare press conference, Asmodeus, ancient Demon of Lust, Jealousy, and Midlife Crisis, vehemently denied any involvement in Tucker Carlson's recent descent into full exorcist-chic content.
"I have standards," snarled the three-headed sovereign of carnal chaos. "My specialty is whispering sweet temptations of affairs, sports cars, and 'I deserve better' to successful men in their 50s. Not... whatever this bow-tie-wearing prophet-beard situation is."
Sources close to the infernal HR office confirmed Asmodeus filed an official complaint with Satan himself, demanding his name be removed from any coverage tying him to Carlson's "spiritual warfare arc."
Source: https://x.com/TuckerCarlson/status/2040112174413046101
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